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And I didn’t want to any longer. These one-night affairs I had on the road taught me a couple of things about myself. Or rather, those hours on the airplane flying home from some strange city allowed me to stop rationalizing what I was doing and admit to myself what I really needed. Her divorcing me was only the kick in the ass to get me to wake up.I realized women were nice, but that they didn’t really do anything for me anymore. I’ve had my chances and always turned them down, gently. And then said yes when a guy would message me on the app.The other thing I realized was that I wanted my coworker. This was problematic, as he was married and already rejected me. I made all the excuses for him I could but in the end him not coming up to my room stung. Deciding that my desire for him was probably closer to bounce-back feelings than anything genuine, I determined I’d be the professional about things and not make a big deal of it when we saw each other next. There was an all-staff. ‘Well, I was going to head into town to do some shopping. I guess I can wait till the weekend.’ ‘We can go now, if you want. I’ll tag along and after you’re done we can meet up at the Gridiron,’ her father said. ‘I guess, though maybe my morning sickness will come back and…’ ‘Jamie Ann, you were not sick, so don’t be trying to pull that shit with me. Little Fred hasn’t made you sick one time, has he?’ Steve asked. ‘Not really,’ she whispered, mindful of how little her father knew of those first few months. ‘Shopping and dinner it is. But I have to do ‘girl shopping’ dad. You know — special shopping.’ Steve chuckled. ‘I’m sure I can find something else to do while you do your ‘special shopping’.’ They left the house, each one consumed by their own thoughts. The day progressed rather swiftly. Jamie found spending time outside of the house with her dad was just what she needed. He was honest when she asked his opinion on clothes and when she had to disappear into the lingerie.
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